Hard Times Come Again No More

With everything that's been going on in our country lately, it's bringing up a lot of mixed feelings for me.

On the one hand, I feel extremely blessed to have everything I do. I am in relatively good health (although the massive kink in my neck this morning does not allow me to move my head, hence turning my entire upper body to check for oncoming traffic while driving like a granny); I have a stable job that I enjoy; I live in an adorable farmhouse (complete with mice, spiders, no insulation, etc.) with great neighbors; I have time to pursue hobbies (yoga, running, playing with my dog, knitting, banjo-ing); I have a supportive extended family.

On the other, I feel really guilty to have all those things. I met with a woman my own age yesterday here at work. She is the niece of a researcher I know very well. She has a son in third grade and just finished school for photography and graphic design. I asked her how she was, and her reply was "Desperate." It's difficult to have a face-to-face discussion with someone who, although has a different path in life, is in many respects similar to you. Goal-oriented, motivated, wants to provide a good life for herself and her loved ones. She can't find a job. Anywhere, not even at Target because they only want night/weekend workers, and she can't due to her child. And here I sit at my desk, listening to her plea for work, and not being able to do much of anything for her other than give her the names of some people she could try talking to next. That's literally all I could do. I felt really helpless and guilty.

And yet, that interaction has given me more insight into my life. It has renewed my feelings of appreciation for what I have and who I am, it certainly gives me a lot to be thankful for, and it helps me to understand how easily my life could be like hers. I could be the desperate one. Because I am not desperate, at least not right now, I am feeling very blessed and it has reminded me of the importance to work hard in my life. To focus on the intangible, like improving personal relationships and living more ethically, or serving others in ways I am capable (knitting for the homeless and abused is a good first step), to push myself just a little bit harder at work, to being a better person.

Starting at point B

What better time to start a blog than the day after our country elects its first African-American president?

So let's start at point B for beginnings.

I cut my hair, almost as short as when W. first was elected. Time to get rid of all that dead weight that's been hanging on, dragging me down for the last eight years. A new beginning.

I'll be turning 30 in two short months, so it's time for reassessment of my life and my goals, not to mention a time for celebration. I'm excited to turn 30 and enter into a new decade of my life. A time for renewal.

I hope to ride this wave of national enthusiasm and pride and remind myself that I do indeed have the strength to get through the tough times, to have the courage to confront an issue and make decisions, even if they might lead to uncertainty.