soul food

Sometimes, you just need mom to visit for a few days to be reminded, by way of a cooler full of meat from the farm, four bags of veggies and fruit, plus some beautiful flowers, just how much you are loved. :-)

And her leg permitted her a nice hike to Arethusa Falls with us, how lovely!

Abundance

In a move that would please O. Henry, Jeff showed me in amazing fashion just how blessed I am. I will be hitting the surf by late May thanks to his generosity and love...he sold some of his prized DVDs to scrape together enough money to purchase a warm spring/fall wetsuit for me!! I already started practicing the "hang ten" stance that I hope to achieve soon.


We have been very good about living within our means, and with the somewhat high cost of living in New England, that can be tough. Supporting ourselves on one salary is a bit challenging, but he has been an excellent partner with whom to ride out the storm. I am amazed by how much abundance fills my life in unexpected ways. How rich an afternoon can be when it is spent throwing tennis balls on a sandy Maine beach for the dogs! I am surrounded by love and emotional wealth.

on an offbeat note...

So...I've been tooling around with my frailing banjo Edie since last summer, and before that with my sister's bluegrass banjo for about half a year...and yet last night was the first time I've tried playing with a metronome.

I was underwhelmed by my sense of timing. I constantly speed the song up as I play, downshifting at the tougher spots, then speed right back up for the grand song finale. "Mama's little baby loves shortnin', shortnin', Mama's...littlebabyloves...SHORTNIN' BREAD!" I have a lot to learn and I am wondering if perhaps I ought to have started playing with the metronome on day one rather than add that as offbeat accompaniment a year later--my audience was likely cringing inside. I apologize. Tonight, for your listening pleasure: Arkansas Traveler! And more of the same songs you've been subjected to for the last two months...

change is in the air

Life seems so static sometimes that when change occurs, it can be jarring. We have our routines, our normal activities, daily paths, vices, behaviors, and we may remain stuck in that rut for longer than is healthy. Change is what forces our boundaries to open up a bit more, whether we like it or not. We are shoved, sometimes quite uncomfortably, out of the mire and up on hardened soil with a loud THUD.

I have a lot of lessons to learn about how to deal with change--specifically, getting older. I always feel so young that it shocks me to see a mature woman with larger curves in the mirror. I have wrinkles and achy joints and yet I still feel young. My concept of beauty has matured and adjusted but acceptance of my own aging process, the loss of certain abilities, the need to adapt, has not caught up.

Zoe recently hurt herself while playing too vigorously. She could not walk up or down stairs, jump or run for days and we had to carry her, and I did not handle it well at all. It shed a harsh, bright light onto the issue and made me realize that I need to graciously accept her aging process as much as my own.

Being mentally/emotionally nimble, flexible, taking a tumble and using it to propel us forward are often big tasks that can seem insurmountable. I have, in the past, been frozen with fear, afraid to take the next step because "what if it's the wrong path? What if I become unhappy?" All we can do is put more faith in ourselves and our ability to make sound decisions and move forward.

Jeff was laid off yesterday. At first I was shocked and initial feelings of worry and slight panic ensued. How would we support ourselves on one income? We have only a tiny bit of savings between us so far and I don't earn a whole lot. And then, once I realized that we have plenty of options, I saw this as a great opportunity. Usually I am so scared of change, and now here it is, and I feel completely calm and even a bit happy.

So maybe these are the first primers for how to live a more fulfilling, successful life. Learn acceptance. Patience. Have faith. Focus on positive. Be more open. Don't be afraid. Keep moving forward. These are important life lessons that the Universe has served to me and I am eager to learn from them.